Comic relief…..Woody Allen on death

I’m not afraid of death,  I just don’t want to be there when it happens.


If you want to make God  laugh, tell him about your plans.


You can live to be a hundred if you give up all the things that make you want to live to be a hundred.


If only God would give me some clear sign! Like making a large deposit in my name at a Swiss Bank.


Photons have mass? I didn’t even know they were Catholic.


What if everything is an illusion and nothing exists? In that case, I definitely overpaid for my carpet.


I was thrown out of college for cheating on the metaphysics exam; I looked into the soul of the boy sitting next to me.


The difference between sex and death is that with death you can do it alone and no one is going to make fun of you.


I hate reality but it’s still the best place to get a good steak.


Not only is there no God, but try finding a plumber on Sunday.



About mash12000

Freelance writer
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2 Responses to Comic relief…..Woody Allen on death

  1. Satish Babusenan says:

    really had a good laff 🙂 thnx for ur efforrts Mash.

  2. Satish Babusenan says:

    Spiritual chewing-gum is like every other chewing-gum. Trample your own peril!
    – Anonymous

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